For
the majority of people, the chief obstacle that prevents them achieving
the state of self-remembering is in the fact that they think they are
already in possession of it. They think that they can remember themselves,
be conscious of everything they do and say, and also live in the imagination
of being conscious of their inner life and have knowledge and control
of the thoughts and emotions that they experience in an uninterrupted
current. Due to this, they think that they have a permanent "I" and
the capacity to do and to change. But the truth is that they can do
nothing because they do not have a true will, but many wills and many
contradictory and variable "I´s". Everything happens to them in this
way.
It is evident that a person will not be interested
in hearing about a state that he thinks he has, being also the one he
has the greater difficulty in understanding the meaning of self-remembering.
They do not realize they cannot avoid doing what they do and that none
of their actions are not dominated by will. Nevertheless, the ordinary
state of a person is opposed to this. He has no perception of himself,
he is not conscious of what he does or says, neither does he make the
decisions that he imagines he makes, nor is he conscious of his inner
life. He is conscious of a very small part of what "he experiences"
mechanically.
The self-remembering state belongs to a human being,
in which he has perception of himself and of whatever surrounds him;
he perceives everything that he experiences. The reason that this is
not so is the identification with which he is not. This state must be
explored through self-observation and it is, after a long period of
training without critical spirit, that we realize that we do not remember
ourselves. We will understand that we forget our aims and ourselves,
thus understanding what it means to be awake, up to a point, and what
it is to be asleep. Self-observation is not self-remembering, but it
allows us to realize that we do not remember ourselves and to our consciousness
that we do not have a permanent "I". If we awoke to the consciousness
of the real I, the world would be very different. Nothing can be changed
in a real way in life unless we awake to this fact.
It is necessary to understand all this before starting
the practice of this work because unless we understand that another
state of Being exists, we will not value the work nor will we make a
voluntary and continuous effort.
As a rule, there is no struggle in the inner life
of a person due to routine, to the mechanicalness and acquired habits.
A struggle only begins when we walk in the opposite direction to our
mechanicity. This Work enables us to observe certain peculiar things
in ourselves that prevent us from awakening and to create a conscious
and voluntary inner struggle between yes and no. One of the most important
things is the work with identification, because if you are identified
you cannot observe yourself. We identify with images of ourselves, with
daydreams, with each small "I" that appears in a momentary way in a
scene, with each mood, each emotion, each thought, with suffering, etc.
All forms of identification must be subjects for self-
study through self-observation. When this has been practiced for a certain
period of time, we will be more conscious of our inner state and, consequently,
we will have little time for choosing. You will be able to see what
is going to happen before it takes place. Self-observation clears a
space, so that you can be conscious of what enters and what leaves.
If we do not put energy in something which wants to enter us through
identification, this passes on and a small moment of self-remembering
is created. This means that we have taken the Work to the entry point
of an impression. The important point of the work with impressions is
not to let them enter unconsciously, not to let them fall on the network of associations established a
long time ago.
The problem is that we persist in believing that there is no
longer nothing new, not because there are no new impressions but because
they always affect the same associations and produce the same reactions.
It is necessary to feed off the impressions, which means working on
them as they reach us and being able to prevent that some of them fall at
the same place as always. Life is entering impressions. Life cannot
be changed directly, but we can change the way in which the impressions
fall in us and to destroy the possibility of the associations. It is
necessary to remember our work's aim and to take it to the place where
the impressions enter, which will prevent the reaction to the impressions
that are opposite to the Work, to our aim. Mechanical reaction is prevented
by conscious action. This action belongs to the First Conscious Shock,
It is its beginning. The energy that has gone to a mechanical reaction,
through habitual associations, can continue now and transform itself
into something subtler. In this way, we will understand or we will see
things in a new way.
The impressions that are received in a state of self-remembering
become more interesting and beautiful, reflecting a meaning that we
did not perceived before. It is necessary to remember the "I" who knows
the aim and be always aware of the different "I´s" that appear. This
is a way of self-remembering until we become totally aware of the real
I, the state of full self-remembering.
